Bearded Theory, since its move to Catton Hall, has been steadily (and deservedly) growing. Each year, the organisers have announced ever-more ambitious line-ups and this year, 2018, they certainly hit a peak. With a list of names including Reverend and the Makers, Fun lovin’ Criminals, Jimmy Cliff and, to crown it all, Robert Plant, it is hardly surprising that the event was a sell-out. Add in the fact that Glastonbury, the closest festival to Bearded Theory in terms of vibe, is having a year out, and a spectacular turn-out was inevitable. As a result, Bearded Theory is bigger than ever, and whilst that offers the organisers a number of opportunities to really create something special, it also comes with a unique set of challenges, some of which prove problematic.
The biggest, and most prominent, issue is traffic management. For a number of reasons, entry to the festival on Thursday goes completely awry, with tail-backs for miles in each direction. Frustrated festival-goers vent their feelings on social media and a number of people (including us) simply aren’t able to get on-site in time for any bands. It’s a difficult situation and one that will need careful thought before next year, as it leaves large numbers of people stranded and many more turning-tail rather than face the delays.
Returning on Saturday morning (we were in London for the Rolling Stones on Friday), it’s as if the congestion of Thursday never happened, with clear roads in every direction. We head on-site early to check out the expanded arena and find that Bearded Theory is now more like a village than ever, with a wide array of tempting shops, food stalls and points of interest. It’s certainly grown over the years, with more space and spectacle than ever before. Few festivals put so much effort into the experience outside of the music and it’s fair to say that from the early morning right-through the night, there’s always something happening. Even in the absence of live music, DJs, busking spots, bizarre sculptures, a fairground and a plentiful supply of bars and cafes keep Bearded Theory lively pretty much without a break, and you soon realise that sleep is merely an optional extra.
A quick trip to the excellent Hurly Burly café set things off nicely. Serving a variety of beverages and with a decent choice of food, it’s the perfect spot to take in the festival with its view of the fire pit (a fantastic idea but a touch too small now the festival has expanded to such an extent) and the much-expanded fairground. As we watch, the screams of festival-goers foolhardy enough to brave the more adventurous rides drift across the field, loud enough that even the omnipresent thump of the dance tent cannot mask them completely. With a caffeine fix in place, it’s time to find one of the many bars, preferably one opposite the main stage so we can check out random hand. As it transpires we manage and, with festival ale in hand (another triumph), we get to bask in the warmth of a sun that was not meant to show its face as the band unleash their energetic, cross-genre sounds. It’s a great way to spend a sunny afternoon and random hand, a four piece who bounce around like teenagers on a mad sugar high, perfectly suit the mood of the crowd who seem content to bounce right along with them. Boasting a harder, more metallic edge than most of their ska peers, they impress throughout their set and leave the audience in a state of mild exhilaration.
One of the things I love about Bearded Theory is that there’s always something worth seeing, even between acts. The dance-tent seems to run non-stop (to the extent that a number of Bez-like festival-goers never seem to leave) and there’re numerous other stages to check out, the most glorious being the Woodland stage. To get there, you pass down a row of stalls, cafes and a random, outdoor dance van, before entering a woodland glade that is simply idyllic. Heading into the clearing we catch the closing moments of Jake and the Jellyfish, the Leeds-based folk-punk act whose gravel-throated assault comes across like the Levellers going head to head with Pennywise. With a decent crowd, Jake and the Jellyfish are definitely worth checking out.
However, we can’t hang around long because legendary punk band UK Subs are set to take the main stage and theirs is an act that can’t be missed. Formed back in 1976, UK subs are one of the few old-school punk bands still treading the boards and neither their power nor their humour is diminished. Blasting out classic tunes such as ‘Down on the farm’ (memorably covered by Guns ‘n’ Roses on the ill-fated “the spaghetti incident?” album) and ‘teenage’, UK Subs cheekily put the secret to their survival down to drinking beer on stage (“young bands should know about that…”), but if that’s the case it certainly hasn’t blunted the band’s edge although it’s strange that they should be placed below idles given their classic status and the obvious love the audience have for them.
A short break gives us an opportunity to head around some of the brightly coloured stalls. Bearded Theory certainly does not stint when it comes to having a variety of clothing outlets and merchandise options. Low prices and friendly stall-holders make running the gauntlet of shops an interesting, if wallet-damaging experience, and we escape with our credit cards intact and only a few purchases under our arms before making our way to the food stalls for an early dinner. With a good selection on offer (it’s so refreshing to go to a festival where you aren’t simply faced with eight different shapes of burger), we recommend the Caribbean tent, although the Pie stall is good, and the East African cuisine is also worth a look. Prices are on a par with most festivals, but the quality is decidedly higher and it’s hard to feel aggrieved handing over your money when you know you’ll actually be eating something tasty.
It’s back to the main stage for Idles, the hotly-tipped Bristolian punk rockers whose debut, ‘brutalism’, was released to considerable acclaim. Certainly energetic, the band initially come across as thuggish in their brutal intensity, although singer Joe Talbot proves himself to be singularly aware of those around him when, having spilt water on the stage, he assists the stage hands in clearing up the resulting hazard before dedicating the song ‘Samaritans’ to the crew. It’s a rare moment where an artist shows a degree of awareness and humility and it elevates Idles’ considerably, demonstrating that they unselfconsciously practice what they preach. Glimpses of humanity aside, Idles are a ferocious prospect and they look entirely natural on the sizable mainstage, showcasing a number of killer cuts from debut album ‘brutalism’ and reminding the audience that the most essential ingredient of great music remains passion.
Heading back to woodlands, ostensibly to escape the sun and to take advantage of the excellently-stocked bar to be found there, we pass the Convoy Cabaret stage where dark wonders await in a suitably atmospheric tent. Unfortunately, it’s silent – setting up for the next act – although this does lead us to Mik Artistik Ego trip, who offer up a somewhat ramshackle performance that comes across like a shouty, funkier Arab Strap with tracks like ‘plastic fox’ delivered with rather more energy than precision. The crowd lap it up, seemingly appreciating the dry northern wit as much as the music, but it rapidly becomes somewhat one-note and we head off in search of another pint of the brilliant fruit cider.
It’s not long before we have to race back to the main stage, however, for Fun Lovin’ Criminals who easily deliver the set of the day and possibly the festival. A band perfectly suited to an evening slot in the bright spring sunshine, Fun Lovin’ criminals are, from start to finish, phenomenal. Opening with ‘fun lovin’ criminal’, the track where it all began, the band deliver a wired rendition of that classic track and then proceed to knock everyone dead with ‘loco’ If the set has any fault at all, it is that it’s too short, and whilst every single cut is killer, there are at least the same number again left out. Huey, of course, is an arch showman and his between-song banter keeps things light and fun, whilst a troublesome joint means that the intro for ‘smoke ‘em’ lasts roughly an eternity. Throats are sung raw during an epic ‘scooby snacks’ (a song that resolutely refuses to age), whilst ‘Barry White’ brings the love to the entire crowd. Fun Lovin’ Criminals are one of those bands who effortlessly entertain, and their bright, bubbly set is perfect in every conceivable way.
Opening with Blues number ‘turn it up’, Robert Plant in 2018 is a humble and calm performer these days, but he still hits those high notes with all the power of yore. Despite a number of the crowd deciding that now is the perfect time for a conversation, those paying attention are treated to one of the finest voices in rock history delivering a mix of covers, new tracks and Zeppelin classics, the first of which being a powerful ‘I should have quit you baby’. As much as the Zeppelin tracks are delivered with panache, it’s tracks like ‘Rainbow’, with its ‘unledded’ vibe, that really draw the listener in, although Led Zeppelin ‘IV’ classic ‘Going to California’ has lost none of its mysticism and Robert sings it with a folky charm that is irresistable. Heading Nashville way, we get an elegiac take on ‘Please read the letter’ (cut with Allison Krause) before Robert and his band take us over the top with a folk-infused rendition of the Leadbelly classic, ‘Gallows Pole’. Some of the day’s most exquisite guitar work is offered up during a stunningly extended ‘Baby I’m gonna leave you’, a song that leaves even Robert in awe of his own band. It’s an impressive set, if a touch unfocused, but we leave early (sacrificing the inevitable encore of ‘whole lotta love’) for the muscular might of Therapy? who are set to grace the Woodland stage.
A band that never disappoint, Therapy? take to the stage with surprisingly little fanfare, unleashing their hotwired take on Joy Division’s ‘isolation’ as if it’s nothing special, before whipping the crowd into a frenzy with ‘die laughing’. A band who deftly combine the fire and fury of punk and metal with melodic, pop-infused lyrics that easily have the whole crowd singing along, Therapy? demonstrate exactly this skill with ‘happy people’ and frontman Andy Cairns proves himself the perfect master of ceremonies, even for a crowd flagging after a long, hot day. The set is packed with classics, a sizable portion being drawn from ever-green masterpiece ‘troublegum’, although a blistering take on ‘Diane’ (from the massively underrated ‘infernal love’) also stands out. However, it’s the closing blitzkrieg assault of ‘teethgrinder’ and ‘screamager’ that really cap the night and send the woodland crowd home sweaty and elated. Therapy? we love you!
And so, we reach the end of an epic Saturday. The main stages may be done, but the festival remains in full swing, with various tents still offering plenty of chances to dance and drink the night away. We opt for the heat haze of the packed-out Dance Tent which, with its black lit decorations, looks like something out of Alice in Wonderland…
…and that would be where we’d leave you, it if it weren’t for the most epic of storms. From about half past three in the morning, the ominous rumble of thunder can be heard in the distance, disturbing sleep and worrying those stumbling tent-wards. A moment of calm encourages people to think it may have passed us by before the heavens open and we are treated to a full-blown pyrotechnic display of the gods from the suddenly-claustrophobic confines of our tent. It seems inevitable that the site must flood, judging by the strength of the torrential downpour and yet, miraculously, when we emerge in the morning, tired and somewhat shell-shocked, the site appears none the worse for wear, although the river is a good few inches higher. With only two hours’ sleep, it’s going to be a long day mind…
Sunday
It seems that luck was very much on the festival’s side. With stages and site seemingly unscathed by one of the most violent storms in recent history, the worst impact is that the crowd look decidedly haggard after a night of very little sleep indeed. Zombified festival-goers can be seen stumbling towards the arena in search of coffee or staring into the middle-distance as they struggle to shake off the night’s unplanned entertainment.
Fortunately, a fine breakfast at the Hurly Burly café (yeah, we love that place) helps back into the land of the living and, having been compelled to head off site for a brief stint, we return in time for the punk rock antics of the recently-reformed Crazy Head, a band perfectly suited to Bearded Theory. With one guitarist dressed like a Victorian gentleman in top hat and silk shirt; another who clearly thinks he’s in the Manic Street Preachers (dressed all in white and sporting a Les Paul); not to mention the bassist, who seems to be sporting a shiny battle helmet, the band are a strange sight up on the main stage, but they pack a powerful punch. Still full of energy, new tracks like ‘Baby Turpentine’ show that little has changed and that Crazyhead still have power and to spare.
It almost feels like a festival rule that you have to have either Dreadzone or the Dub Pistols somewhere on the line up and we’re certainly glad that it’s the case. This year it’s the Dub Pistols gracing the mainstage (and thank goodness, because the last time they were stuffed into a tent in a seeming attempt to turn half the festival into instant sardines), and their heady mix of dub, reggae and huge beats is just what the festival needs, bringing the crowd fully back to life, even as clouds hover ominously in the distance.
The biggest revelation of the day is surely the Dubioza Kolektiv, a remarkable act whose multi-cultural background demonstrates perfectly the unifying power of music. In between towering mountains of dub, we get songs about legalising marijuana, punk-infused riffing, folk elements and plenty of humour. Tracks like ‘one more time’ sound like Dreadzone going head-to-head with Divokaj Bill and the band are endlessly entertaining, impressing the crowd with their showmanship and powerful tunes. With cannons launching trails of streamers into the air the band give us ‘free mp3’, something of a band manifesto with a pulsing beat and folky window dressing, whilst a highlight of the set is the track ‘Boom’ (from ‘happy Machine’) and much of the band’s material is available to download, for free, from their website – be sure to check it out. The band leave the field brighter for their presence, even if an almighty downpour (promised throughout the day) threatens to turn the site into an almighty quagmire as they reach their conclusion.
Amazingly, given the ferocity of the rain, it does little to dampen spirits. Although some of the more frequently used walkways become somewhat sticky in aspect, and a few sizeable puddles emerge to attract those seeking a novel way to cool off, business continues as usual and we find ourselves once more at the Woodland stage for a magical performance from the unique Eliza Carthy with her Waywand Band in tow. Decked out in white, with her striking blue hair a vibrant contrast, Eliza entertains the waiting crowd with a fifties-style rendition of Teddy Bear’s picnic, impressively kicking off a sing-along before the set has even started. Eliza opens with the powerful, rhythmic ‘devil in the woman’, setting the tone for a set that sits comfortably between traditional folk and PJ Harvey-esque art pop. ‘The fitter’s song’ is equally delivered with power, precision and a wry sense of humour that goes far to underscoring the subversive spirit that Eliza only barely keeps under wraps with her elegiac music. Hell, she’s even seen cheekily throwing the devil horns at the start of the show!
Things initially don’t bode well for Ruts DC who take to the stage with a mumbling intro only to prove one of the highlights of the day with a set of old-school, reggae-influenced punk rock. Opening with ‘Vox Teardrop’, the band are on fine and fiery form and they deliver an impressive set with punk and post-punk guitar work dovetailing neatly with dubbed-out basslines. Newer tracks like ‘Mighty Soldier’ and ‘kill the pain’ take on a more vital aspect in the live environment, but the absolute highlight of the set is the dark, post-punk masterclass that is ‘dangerous minds’, originally released on 81’s ‘Animal now’ and still sounding like an apocalyptic state-of-the-nation address today. Quite possibly band of the day, Ruts DC are remarkable, and they are the perfect band for the Woodland community.
Back over on the main stage, Jimmy Cliff brings his wonderfully upbeat mix of reggae and ska to a heaving crowd. The seventy-year-old musician takes to the stage with a singular sense of calm and quietly begins the set before the majority of the crowd even realise he’s there. Seated, alongside the bulk of his band, for the rhythmic opening song, he truly gets the crowd’s attention with ‘this is my love song’, whilst a colourful explosion of streamers perfectly summarise the bittersweet lyricism of an elegant take on ‘wild world’. It’s a calming conclusion to the festival and the crowd are in raptures throughout.
The last band of the night, Gentleman’s Dub Club have the unfortunate timing to start their set just as an almighty firework display lights up the sky. Gently filtered through the light canopy of trees, the display is bright, beautiful and the band take it in their stride, cleverly incorporate it into their set, rather than allowing it to become a competition. With a sense of humour and plenty of energy, the band are the ideal choice to close out the Woodland stage and the band look set to keep people dancing until they drop.
And so, with a somewhat heavy heart, we come to the end of another wonderful Bearded Theory festival. Although the festival’s sold-out status caused a few issues on the first night, it is amazing to note that, on site, everything runs with remarkable efficiency. The stages ran to time right up until the point the heavens opened on Sunday night, the security were friendly and courteous, and the various stalls and attractions ran without any obvious hitch. With numerous bars and food outlets sprinkled around the site, it was rare that we had to queue for anything, although the festival could have used more toilets, particularly at points such as the woodland stage, where the small number available were predominantly in a parlous state. However, for a festival under threat of the direst weather forecasts and greatly expanded, Bearded theory managed to do what it always does – deliver a calm, restful and, above all, friendly experience for music fans of all ages. The selection of music was, as always, first rate with stand-out sets from a number of artists, and the sound was excellent on all stages – a rarity at any festival. In short the crew deserve a hearty round of applause for their endeavours in making so large a festival a resounding success, and I can’t wait for the next edition of what is a now a firm highlight of the gigging calendar.
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